Authenticity vs. Purity - my Journey to Self-Love Coaching

For months, I’ve been grappling with my identity as a Coach and as someone with some level of influence. When I launched my first Podcast episode, I thought long and hard about my ultimate intention for the episode: to tell my story, authentically.

Authenticity has become a very important part of who I am - it is one of my top 5 values (along with Balance, Curiosity, Growth and Spirituality) in my life and work. Authenticity is also an important part of who I am on my instagram - I’ve always wanted to share truth about myself, in all its colors, no matter the cost… or attempt to, at least.

So when recording that first podcast episode, I was in a conundrum: how much of myself did I really want to share? I’ve already been really truthful on my instagram about many parts of my life, but there was one thing I had never openly admitted (but had mentioned in passing): I smoke weed. Not just every now and then, but regularly.

It was hard for me to admit this openly at first, because I felt like this clashed with my identity as a Health Coach. Is smoking weed the healthiest habit? Probably not. Neither is drinking beer every day, and that’s something I do as well. This is not to say that I’m a drug addict or an alcoholic… I believe I’m pretty balanced about my consumption and these two habits are a part of my “unwinding” after my work days.

Anyway. Another reason I felt discouraged from sharing this was because I thought that by openly admitting to being a regular weed smoker would make me lose followers (which is something that’s been happening for years already and that i’ve learned to be ok with) but more importantly, potential clients.

And in truth, maybe it has.

On a coaching call some weeks ago, a client told me she found out I smoked weed through my podcast. She was taken aback by this declaration, since she’s never smoked weed before, and she felt that her image of me got tarnished by this “news”. After thinking about it for a while, she realized that there’s so many other things she looks up to me for, that this small detail about me became almost insignificant. In no way did it become a “deal breaker”.

When she confessed this to me, I admittedly cried a (happy) tear. This is what I had unconsciously been fearing for months, or even years. And here was one of my beautiful, lovely clients bringing up this fear, and accepting me for who I am. She proved that this fear I’d been holding on to was unnecessary, since my ideal clients would see beyond this one habit, because what they’re looking for is something else, something bigger. I might lose potential clients, but my ideal clients don’t give a flying fuck whether I smoke weed (in fact, many of my clients smoke weed too lol)

A few days later it clicked for me: I’m not here to be the perfect Health Coach. Maybe that’s why I moved away from the title “Health Coach” towards “Wellness Coach”. But then again, I feel like by having those titles I was expected to have a certain level of purity (whether that expectation is internal or external, who knows). So I never felt fully connected to the title “Wellness Coach” either.

I realized I’m not here to promote purity or veganism or an extremely healthy diet.

I’m here to promote balance, and help others love themselves a bit more.

It took me a while to realize this (more than a year of working as a Health Coach), but that’s really what i’m all about: Self-Love!

And it’s beautiful really. Considering my Journey towards Health and, and ultimately Self-Love, begun with Self-Hate. It begun with me sitting on a couch, feeling sorry for myself and hating not just the way I looked, but the way I felt, the way I thought, and the way I acted towards myself and others.

All these years of working on myself, of giving myself pep talks, of working out and eating healthier, then lots of going in, of learning to know and love myself… THIS is what I’m providing my clients. I’ve successfully integrated great habits into my life, and yeah, I still have some habits I’m trying to break, but then again, I’m actively working on balance, not purity. I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t just talk about loving myself, but truly, deeply feel it and live it.

I’ve come a long way since that day on the couch. And throughout this year I’ve reflected long and hard about my purpose, my voice, what I’m here to actually do, and it’s lead me to this:

I am a Self-Love Coach.

I am here to Inspire, Guide and Teach people to know and love themselves, so that they may live fuller lives, and in turn, inspire others to do the same.

I finally have a logo that represents this new identity of mine and I’m so happy with the final result :)

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here :))

And if Self-Love Coaching sounds like something you’d be interested in, you can learn more about my approach here.